I just saw a hot homeless man
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
