I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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