ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
