I just made out with a guy for $7.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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