I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
