Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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