guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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