on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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