I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
