At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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