Non-Jews are for practice
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
