Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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