i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
