is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
