Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
