Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
