STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
