I think i peed on brittanys purse
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
