So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
please don't ironically join a cult
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