just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
