Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
