i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
