R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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