Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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