it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
