The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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