We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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