no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
