I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
