hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
