party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
