just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
