In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
