Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
