just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
