gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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