I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
