Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
