just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
