so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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