did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
