I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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