Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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