Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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