Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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