its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
