Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
