why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
