My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
