i think my tv is drunk
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
