Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
