I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im six kinds of drunk right now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
