I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
