i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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