Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
