If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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