Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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