I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
