Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
