Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
